Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Synonymistification


A Tout Le Monde,

Baby and I have come up with a whole list of words beginning with "quiet" that are not used very often these days.
So here goes:

quiecity - quiet energy
quiesense - A moment of quietness
quietability - The ability to become quiet
quietacious - Tending to be quiet
quietactic - A person suffering from quietness
quietage - Period of quietness
quietaholic - One who is addicted to quiet
quietall - A quiet beverage
quietallica - A quiet Metal band
quietance - A state of being quiet
quietanesia - The island of quietness
quietanic - The quiet ship
quietanol - A quiet alcohol (quiet + OH) - the major ingredient of quietall
quietante - A professional quietist
quietarium - A public place for the display of quiet
quietary - A place where quiet is cultivated
quietatia - The continent of quiet
quietatonic - Of or relating to the quiet Tones
quietection - The mechanism by which quiet is propagated
quietellite - A quiet heavenly body
quietender - A server of quiet
quietendom - The fundamental right to quiet
quietener / quietenier - A practitioner of quiet
quietephor - A figure of speech employing quiet
quieternia - The ancient land of quiet
quietescule - A small quiet
quietesh - The Hindu God of quiet
quietess - A female quiet
quietia - The ocean of quiet
quietians - Aquatic / Semiaquatic / Amphibious inhabitants of quietia
quietician - A quietcare professional.
quieticle - A particle of quiet
quietidity - The quiet quotient
quietinerary - A timetable of quiet
quietiness - Given or inclined to quiet
quietious - A quiet gifted one
quietipede - An animal with quiet locomotion
quietism - Belief in quiet
quietist - One who practices quietism
quietistification - Conversion to quietism
quietition - A sermon in quietism
quietitivity - The theory of quiet
quietitude - The state of quiet
quietius maximus - The quiet muscle
quietlet - A young quiet
quietochondria - A grain of quiet
quietoderm - Animals with quiet skins
quietography - The art of writing quiet
quietologue - A catalogue of quiet (available at quietariums)
quietology - The science of quiet
quietometer - A device used to measure quiet
quietonate - A quiet mineral
quietonite - A quiet crystal
quietonol / quietene / quietane - Organic quiet compounds
quietoon - quiet feature (series / film) , targeted at children
quietophilia - Love of quiet
quietophobia - Fear of quiet
quietopia - An imaginary place of absolute quiet
quietoplasty - Surgical implant of quiet
quietopsy - A surgical procedure to find quiet
quietor - Demon of quiet
quietoract - A clinical condition marked by the inability to perceive quiet
quietorectomy - Surgical procedure to cure quietoracts
quietOS - The quiet Operating System
quietosity - The physical quantity measuring the property of quiet
quietospace - A network of quiet
quietractor - A device used to measure quiet angles
quietrant - A sector of quiet
quietrimony - The reign of quiet
quietrina - The hurricane of quiet
quietrocilium - The bacterium of quiet
quietron - The subatomic quiet particle
quietrous / quietric acid - quiet acids
quiety - Austere quietness



Learn them!

Love,

Puppy Manohar and Baby Vaijayanti

"Duniya ki iss bheed mein, Sabse peeche hum khade" - Ankur Tiwari / Let's Enjoy

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Pupprika

Hello Baby,

Pardon me for my long absence. I needed to go out and get some fresh air. While I was out I got lost, because I don't often venture out on my own, and this city is strangely confusing to me. The symmetry of the roads and the sheer monotony of concrete and brick confuse the living crap out of me, if you'll pardon my french.

But I digress.

I was thinking about your last letter, where you accuse me of reading such rags as the "Times of India" and call me a materialistic puppy. I don't think that's the truth. In fact, I think I am the very opposite of that.

You say I am a shallow, superficial puppy. You say I stare lecherously at images of nubile, young women engaged in questionable activities.

I plead guilty to the latter, but innocent to the former. I am not the shallow puppy you think me to be. I was reading the Times of India because one of my favourite bloggers, Amit Verma linked to it. His blog can even be considered a "News blog". I listen to Jazz and can listen to seventh chord based harmonies without wincing - surely things that your average Britney Spears loving puppy will not do. Try catching Bruno the Great Dane listening to Miles Davis. I dare you.

Anyway, while I was lost, I met a rather helpful dog named Batliboi. I had a very engaging conversation about polycarbonates and their importance in the music industry, but that will have to wait for another blog.

Bye for now,

Puppy Manohar

"Love will find a way" - Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy

Monday, November 06, 2006

And now ... a lesson on "Microcredit."


Dear Puppy,

"We tried to ignore it," he says. "But then skeleton-like people began showing up in the capital, Dhaka. Soon the trickle became a flood. Hungry people were everywhere. Often they sat so still that one could not be sure whether they were alive or dead. They all looked alike: men, women, children. Old people looked like children, and children looked like old people."

Do you know who said this? You will never know, Puppy. Cos you read "The Times of India". You are a party "animal" (ah dhang you). All that interests you, are glossy supplements with ostentatious images of yippies shaking their bourgeois bodies.

But I am happy for you. The Times is printed for little cute puppies like you. I'm sure you'll get brighter. Our experiments will succeed one day. Then you will start reading Washington Post and The Hindu, listen to NPR and "read news blogs" and identify yourself with "Libertarians" and "Left Leaning Intellectuals" and have house warming parties with Jack Daniels and pretty women, playing blues on guitar and get praised for over-extended fraudulent harmonica solos.

regards,
Baby Vaijayanthi.
"Pink is like Red, but not quite"- Aerosmith.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Po dog go Ji


dearest manohar,

Why are you faking the human tone? Pedagogy is for humans not for the canine.

Wait a minute, you kinda talk like a baby.
"Come here, I am going to teach you"
I'm bigger than you I'm higher in the food chain
Get in my belly....

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...ribs.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...ribs.
Chilly baby back. (sic)

But good, you're trying to be smarter and developing 'Individual Thought Patterns' (sic). If you observe the chronology of your mental development, it matches the history of human thought.

I dont think it's your fault. It's not you. It's me.

It's high time you stop drooling over your ancient past and praising your great ancestors and start thinking of your future.


Baby V
"Hai K Nain"

P.S: My father is young not middle-aged.

Puppy Thoughts


Hello Baby,

I was planning to continue with the story with this letter, but I can't help thinking that your last letter was a little condescending. What were you trying to prove? Were you trying to impress your so-called intellectual superiority on me? Well, baby, puppy is not amused.

It's the end of the letter that I have issues with. How can you say something (I paraphrase) like "Your species is a burden to ours"? It's an attitude like that that irks me. Humans and dogs have coexisted peacefully for millenia and you've never, ever heard of the great Dog-Man war. Why, baby? Because humans never had reason to fight with dogs. Because, before humans had evolved to their position of planetary dominance, they understood that all living things had to coexist. And sometimes, alliances had to be formed, even with members of other species. Today's humans seem to have forgotten this, and dogs are now reduced to mere ornaments in houses. My ancestors served yours well, toiling hard for a scrap of meat or two at the end of the day. Compare this to our lot now, where we are tied up almost all day and are just there for your "guests" to gawk at when they visit you.

I don't understand why you criticize people with PhDs and medical degrees. I think if they spent so many years of their lives earning the right to put those letters after their names, they deserve to talk as they damn well please. I think people with PhDs represent the highest form of the human species and you will do well to learn from their discipline, baby V, if you want to go anywhere in life. Following in your father's footsteps will only make you exactly what he is - a frustrated middle-aged man who doesn't know what to do with himself most of the time. I don't think I will forget his efforts to make me wear those ghastly dog trousers. Seriously, which self-respecting puppy would want to walk out like that? Bruno the great dane next door would probably die guffawing (which may not necessarily be a bad thing) and I can picture the look on Faizal the Cat's face as well. Oh the shame. But enough about me; this was supposed to be about you.

Seriously, Baby V, all this talk about hardwiring and fixed neural pathways is nonsense. You can be whatever you want to be in this modern age. There are so many avenues that are now open for young women such as yourself. If you think you are going to be a burned-out 25 year old, nothing can help you. It all starts with a positive attitude and an open mind.

Now go do something with your life,

Your pet,

Puppy Manohar

PS: I've been getting too involved with my Dog-ma, so please excuse.

"A aa aaaaaaaa aaah!" - Robert Plant