KPocracy

Write short notes on KPocracy and KPocratic elections (7.5 marks)


KPocracy is a form of government where KP rules (note : not r00lz, although KP does r00l as well). Here, KP assumes the title of "Bulldozer" because nothing gets in the way of the Bulldozer. A central principle of KPocracy is "Big Government"; Kpocrats believe in the old adage "Many hands make work light". What better way to ensure better governance, they say, than to have as many people involved as possible? Surely, if two heads are better than one, forty five thousand (number used for example purposes only) heads are better than two. In this way, they say, the onerous task of governance can be divided more effectively.

Elections:

In a KPocracy, elections for the Supreme Post of Bulldozer are held once every four years. The voter attendance is usually high, as citizens of a KPocracy take their voters' rights seriously. All citizens, young, old, male, female, undeclared and none of the above make their journey to polling stations around the country.

After the polling is complete, the Election Authority tallies the votes, and the presiding Bulldozer comes out to make The Grand Announcement.

This announcement is usually of the following form:

"My friends, we thank you for your votes. In this election, we received millions and millions of votes. Our counters have worked hard to tally them and I am pleased to announce that candidate (candidate's name) has won. But because this is a KPocracy, and I am KP, you can all Go Fuck Yourselves"

and is followed by laughter.

Since laughter is contagious, citizens end up celebrating this announcement with revelry, games and public drunkenness.

One of the many games played involves participants competing to see who can hold on to a current-carrying wire for the longest time. This game is called "Seizing Power". It should be noted that the current flowing through this wire is generated by people carrying the conductor around a permanent magnet stator. This process is called "The Revolution".

After the people have tired of games and revelry, they go back to their everyday lives, only to replay the exact same events four years later.

------

Puneet, the pessimist

To Whomsoever It May Concern:


Puneet is a pessimist. He doesn't take shit thrown at him.

regards,
Baby V
PS: F.Y.I

Mathemagically Perfect

Sketchy Propaganda, ah dhang you

Let me see how I look

In The Year 2040

Dear Mr. Iyengar,

Today was an unusual day at school. Baby Vaijayanti was telling me about this incident and we did not know what to make of it. I am asking you, with your keen insights and wisdom, to help us out.

The day started like any other - nothing outside the usual happened. But then, during the interval, some children from II C entered Baby V's class and started to argue. Somehow the topic turned to newspapers, and the children started to discuss which newspaper was best. "Paavam" Pazhani M said that "Times of India" is best. Shibu Stalin Joeseph immediately disagreed and said "Of course the New Indian Express [TM] is much better." "Rowdy" Ranga Reddy almost punched everyone who said that the "Deccan Herald" was not the best newspaper. "Padeeps" Pradeep Subramaniam said that clearly "The Hindu" is the best because of its superior layout - the Crossword and Spiritual Advice are next to each other, thereby providing fodder for the intellect and the soul at [almost] the same time.

During all of this, "Double Meaning" Dinakaran was silently sitting in the corner and eating his cream biscuits. Tired of arguing amongst themselves and needing someone to mediate, the group of boys turned to him. "Which newspaper you think is best, da?" they asked of him, almost mockingly. Although Dinakaran was popular amongst the boys, they didn't highly regard his intellect. This was not completely without basis in fact. "Double Meaning" Dinakaran didn't have much interest in newspapers, unless it was one of those with the glossy pictures or it could be turned into a workable kite.

This situation was different; his opinion was sought and he had to give it. Dinakaran stunned them all with a bold claim, "All these newspapers you are talking about are fully nonsense. I read newspapers from the future!". The boys looked at him with expressions that ranged from awe to contempt. Finally, a girl, "Show Me The Proof" Swathi "The Pessimist" Panicker said, "I'm not going to take any crap from anyone. I'm a pessimist. Show me the proof. Tell us something from the future." Dinakaran was undaunted and proceeded to tell them the following :

"Twenty years from now, the Government of India ( GovInd Chacha ) will get fed up of all this Pakistan, Afghanistan, Nepal, Bangladesh nonsense, and decide to annex them all into the Democratic Empire of Sovereign Hindustan. This works out for a little while, until secessionists within the empire grow in influence. After the first wave of secession, the Sikh Eternally Martial and Enlightened Nation will emerge from the now limp Peoples' Empire of Numerous Indian States. Also withdrawing from this state are the Confederation of United Nadu Tamil Separatists. Recognizing an important event, the Technological Institute for Telugu Secessionists will stand at attention. Seeing an opportunity, Rajasthani Anarchists Nimble Dynamic Youth and Haryanvi Orthodox Rightist Military Obeying No Aadmi's Law got Bold And Lawless Lahori Secessionists to make a stand. The Organisation of Very Ancient Royalties and Independent Estates & Sovereignties and the Technological Entrepreneural State for Terrific Indian Scientists sprang to life, although in very different ways. The above groups came together to form the Honorary Organization for Righteous, Nice, Yeoman, Constructive, Helpful Indians Contributing Kindly to Sedition. Two prominent Christian movements, Thomasian Indian Testamental Federation, Union of Christian Kingdoms and Bharatiya Independent Government for Catholic Operations, Come (sic?) Kingdom united as well, to join this secessionary movement, aptly called Secessionist EXtremists. From this giant organization, only two splinter groups emerged - the Confederation of United Maharashtra and Association of Nicobarese, Andamanese and Lakshadweepan Secessionist EXtremists. But.. "

At this point, "Double Meaning" Dinakaran was pulled by Teacher who had just come in for the period after interval. She pulled him by his ear and gave him a remark in his calendar asking him to bring his parents to meet her.

Our question to you, Mr. Iyengar, is why?

Regards and Respect (not necessarily in that order),

Puppy Manohar and Baby Vaijayanti


"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away" - The Fab Farging Bastiges

Bourgeoisie Bengali Sweets