Wednesday, April 22, 2009


My parents are liberal; they don't mind me going out with guys.

My parents are liberal; they don't mind me wearing western clothes.

My mom is liberal; she has always treated the servants right. She cleans their separate mug (which is slightly broken) herself.

My father is liberal; he might scream at his servants but then he often treats them with food.

My liberal aunt might scream at servants (who happen to be 'lower caste') but every time we cook chicken, we invite them (and give them that in their separate plates).

My family is liberal. We allow the servants to eat in the dining room with us (on the floor).

My grandfather was liberal; he felt very bad when a lower caste person who wanted to sit at the same level as he was slapped by the town goon.

My family is liberal; our servant who cooks food for us is a 'harijan' but we still don't have a problem with it ('Who has the time to cook these days, yaar?').

My family is liberal; they don't have a problem with me having a 'love' marriage, as long as it's a boy from our caste.

My family is liberal; they have told me you can marry anyone you want but not Muzzlem.

My family is liberal; we eat at restaurants even if they serve non-veg items there.

My family is liberal; they don't mind me marrying anyone irrespective of caste and creed as long as they are from a good educated family.

My family is liberal but come on man how can he marry a bai?

My family is liberal; they don't mind me marrying anyone as long as they have a similar cultural upbringing as ours.

My family is liberal but you know, marriage is not just the union of two individuals - it's the congress (ah dhang you) of two families.

My parents are liberal; all my mother's train friends are Maharashtrians.

I'm a liberal girl but I want my guy to dominate me.

I'm a liberal guy but, you know, after having kids it's better that the mother stays at home and takes care of them.

I'm a liberal guy but wtf man, it just sounds cheap when women swear.

I'm a liberal guy; I speak English and just hate it when someone curses in Hindi.

I'm a liberal guy; I feel repelled when someone can not speak good English.

I'm a liberal guy, but come on d00d, mechanical engineering is a man's field.

Our family is liberal but we can't understand why my cousin brother Chotu wants to do fashion design instead of electronics.

My family is liberal. We were always allowed to pursue any line we wanted to: doctor, engineer, architect, lawyer or even bureaucrat. Some families have strict rules about what their kids should be.

My family is liberal; I was always allowed to do anything I wanted ( 'But don't blame me if something goes wrong! It's your responsibility' ).

I'm a liberal guy but d00d that's what, you should treat women like d00d they are different. Use them and throw them.

I'm a liberal guy; I don't think premarital sex is wrong but I can't marry a woman who has had sex before.

I'm a liberal guy; I advocate freedom and democracy in India but Kashmir is strictly a matter of territorial integrity.

I'm a liberal guy but look at how these adivasis live d00d. They are better off living in cities than their poor lifestyle.

I'm a liberal guy. I believe in treating all people with respect. Wait. What? You're from Mizoram? LOL chinky chinky chinky!

My family is liberal; They never brought me up to hate Muslims but I want to destroy Pakistan.

I am liberal but I can't understand why you eat so often at that Pakistani restaurant.

I am liberal but I believe a unified country must have one language. South Indians should learn Hindi (but it should not be forced on them).

I am liberal but I hate people from Delhi; they are big haramis

I am liberal but all said and done people from Bombay have that arrogance about themselves.

South Indian Girls don't wax. I am liberal; I don't have a problem with that.

I am liberal, I have no problem with homosexuality as long as they don't hit on me.

I am liberal, I don't care if a person is gay or straight. It's none of my business (and neither is their persecution).

I'm a liberal Muslim. These a-hole muslims who come from UP, Bihar have made life hell for us. We are Bohris. We are an educated liberal people, descended from Arabs.

Ours is a family of liberal muslims. Islam doesn't say what these fundamentalist muslims (who happen to live in slums and poor villages) are saying. I hate these guys spoiling our name.

I am liberal Muslim, people who talk about Muslim marginalization in India don't represent me. India is a great country and I feel safe in it. Beta, it's 7pm it's not safe for girls to go out now. Ahmedabad is an unsafe place these days

We are liberal Christians but my mother doesn't like me playing Holi. It's actually because the colors are bad for your skin.

My father is very liberal. We are Christians. Liberalism hails from Christianity. Think about it. It's a Judaeo-Christian tradition. It's clearly written in the Old Testament.

We are Christians. We are liberal. We don't have caste system and other such things in our society. Our domestic servant, Mary? Really!!! I didn't know she is from a 'lower caste'!

As a liberal, I was happy when Obama became president. It's great when dividing forces of prejudice and racism are overcome. wtf? Oye kaamwaali, what the hell? You missed a big spot here. Can't you clean properly? Damn domestic help.

I am a Nehruvian Liberal. I don't buy this BJP communal outlook but the spiritual side of Hindu Dharma is clearly the wisest. Vedas say "sarve ni suki nas santu.....". Student: "But sir, doesn't the same text say 'strike those Mofos with vengeance lord Indra' " "That is a metaphor for peace."

Hinduism is a very liberal religion which believes in the equality of the sexes. In fact, you know, women are to be revered. We worship so many Goddesses. That shows our respect for them. WTF Shalini? Where the FARG are the Samosas? Don't you realize we have a guest at home?

I was a liberal, but there is a limit to this Islamic terror. These Muzzlems deserve the treatment they got in Gujarat.

I was a liberal socialist, but the fall of Soviet Union opened my eyes.

Ours is a liberal family. I was born a Brahmin but I was never brought up to observe caste system.

Ours is a liberal family; In spite of the riots my father is in touch with Muslims from work.

We are very liberal but you have to draw a line somewhere or these workers will sit on your head.

I'm liberal but it's obvious if you want to enforce law and order you have to come down strong on these terrorists (referring to muslims residing in slums).

I am liberal and a believer in freedom of speech, but you are a novelist you better write a novel; don't poke your nose in social issues.

My uncle is liberal; he has always wanted a school to be constructed on the Ram Janma Bhoomi. He also wants a school to be constructed over the slums by demolishing them since they are illegal.

I'm liberal but look at them; they live like animals.

I'm liberal but come on man love n all is just gay.

"I'm liberal but you cant apply liberalism to these barbaric people who don't understand common decency" - Capitalist/Marxist/Maoist Intellectual

D00d you don't eat meat and don't drink. What kind of liberal are you?

He is an intrepid, liberal journalist; while at Blitz, he exposed Ms. Naznin's love child's father as the Australian cricketer Dennis Bloom by tactfully procuring the birth certificate from the officials.

My parents are liberal but I don't think they would want their only son to marry a B.Com girl, after all he is a Doctor.

Our daughter is liberal, but she wants someone who is as educated as her or someone better.

My family is liberal but I can't upset them by marrying a Foreigner.

My family is liberal but my husband has to be a North Indian.

My family is liberal; they don't mind me marrying someone who speaks another language but after marriage she has to learn our language. You know, otherwise kids get confused.

My family is liberal, but you know you should be careful before marrying someone from some other linguistic groups, because these girls are pretty 'qattar'. They will talk to their kids in their language and their children end up confused. Look at Chintu (a perfectly normal kid who plays too much cricket and breaks our window panes).

Our daughter is educated, fair and beautiful. We are a liberal, open-minded, well-to-do Brahmin family. We are seeking a tall handsome Computer Engineer who has been brought up with similar values as ours.



Baby V and Puppy M


Gradwolf said...

i am liberal. i dont get offended by blogs...

Anonymous said...


So that we don't lose focus

an epic. If anyone planning to watch it, comment and we can all catch up.

Lame? May be? But why not.

Baba V
P.S: no one reply. please.

Nandini Vishwanath said...

Brilliance :)

My mom is a liberal. She brought us to be one too.

Anonymous said...

haha.. great post.. am guilty of at least some of this (in my defense, i don't call myself liberal).. though i don't think that all that u've written even necessarily constitute liberalism..

buddy said...

i listen to rock music im liberal.
i blog im liberal

but brilliant stuff!

unpredictable said...

I'm liberal, I won't replace my surname with the husband's, but will append his to the end of mine.

I'm liberal, I will not wear the mangal sutra with western clothes. Only with Salwars and Sarees, esp. when elders are around.

I'm liberal. My son/ daughter can date, so long as he/she plans to marry the girl/boy in question. *Roaming* with someone just like that and not marrying them is not in line with Indian culture.

Which reminds me - when in doubt, Indian Culture will override Liberalism. Please note.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ms Unpredictable

It brings me great sorrow that you talk of such a conflict between Indian Culture and Liberalism.

To any unbiased observer,it is clear that Indian Culture = Liberalism.

It has been slightly insinuated by one of the greatest Indian (i.e one of the richest) in this

Indianism is synonymous to Hinduism which is synonymous to Liberalism. Think about it yar!

Brig. Ashwak Tatoo (Mrs.) Phd.
1 800 MEHNDI
mehndi laga ke rakhna. ting ting ting

shrek said...

ot everything in the list is contra to liberalism - after all liberal just means the freedom to choose e.g "want guy to dominate" might be antithetical to feminism, but certainly not to liberalism. :p Liberalism is not hte same as not having an opinion imo.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Shrek

Before you ever. ever.....EEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAA question or critcise baby V or Puppy M or KP forbid, KP; you should listen to this

-Baby V.
or not

Quirky Quill said...

I am liberal and I would like Sharia law imposed everywhere because it stands for quick justice. Women's rights don't exist in the first place so there's no question of collateral damage.
I am liberal because I don't mind guys in the West doing the drugs.Where will I get guns to kill non-believers, if not from the opium trade.
I am liberal because I want to ban computers and the spread of English. Dont you think your life would be better without "Windows" and their error messages in English?
I am liberal about people's opinions, as long as they ultimately subscribe to mine.

shrek said...

that WAS cool! but who are all these KP, V, Puppy M etc ? the only kp I've heard of is too busy in the palace of mirrors in Versailles.

Anonymous said...

I am liberal. Every once in a while, I change my opinion on things I strongly believed in till then.

unpredictable said...

Dear Shrek,

Baby V is a little girl who with her adorable Iyengar Puppy, Manohar, writes this blog.

Kp is a phenomenon so incredible that in the archives of BV and PM's chronicles, you will find a whole post devoted to the awesomite of the KP.
Also a whole generation of terms such as Kpocracy and the like which have been inspired ever since.

Ms. Tic, Unpredictable.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Unpredictable

1/5 Marks:
Baby V is a little girl who with her adorable Iyengar Puppy, Manohar, writes this blog.


Reg. KP.

Fully Wrong.

KP is KP. KP's pronoun is kp. KP is not awesome. KP is KP. KP is also a verb.

For example:
Have you KPed today?
We're planning to KP tomorrow. Are you joining us?
I would have loved to KP over the weekend but alas I have to get a colonoscopy.


Maj. Dinesh Sharma (Mrs.) (Retd.)
"Don't call me. I'm a major pain"

Jenny Brownstone said...

i am liberal and ye got a lot of nurve

"dont hate nothing at all except hatred"

Anki said...

I am...
maybe i dunno nymore

Anonymous said...

The question is, is KP liberal?

I am liberal but even my dog has a caste.

portmanteau said...

i love you both, baby v and pup m. -peter singer (dr.)

zap said...

I'm a liberal, I can be friends with people who are religious, even if I see religiosity as intellectual dishonesty.

Anonymous said...

I am liberal. Not Arial, Taural, Geminal, Canceral, Leoval or Virginal.

GJA said...

1. Im a liberal hence I confuse Baby V with Puppy Manohar sometimes and have done so for the past few years without remorse.

2. I am a liberal. I prefer CNN to Fox because they are more liberally better a**h****. Not that I have anything against mules.

3. I am a liberal. I am proud of my country and I can die for it.

4.I am a liberal and it the only thing I am conservative about.

Chendur said...

hilarious yet thought provoking....!
It reminds me of this tshirt liner...

I am not a racist...I hate everyone equally!!


Stupidosaur said...

Very sarcastic, accurate and incisive! Straight from the heart and mind eh?

Mayank said...


Anonymous said...

i am a liberal...i apply fair and lovely everyday