Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ek Onkar

Authors' Note: EK Onkar is a central philosophy of the Sikh Religion. We do not intend to criticise, mock or undermine the neither the religion nor the symbols and spirituality thereof. This post is a product of a random creative outburst, a central theme of the blog. If anyone finds this post offensive. Do inform us, we shall remove it. A reason, though not mandatory, if provided, would be appreciated.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Pup-lick Speaking

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Boys and Girls,

and my fellow canines,

There comes a time in a puppy's life where he (or she) has to stand up, grab the microphone and take center-stage.

My time is now.

Today, for my public speaking debut, I am going to talk about "change".

A wise person before me once said, and I paraphrase "d(change)/dt = 0". For all you calculus illiterates out there, this simply means that change is constant. I have since learned that there are other such constants, including but not limited to Death, Taxes and Australia winning the Cricket World Cup. We, however, are not concerned with these trivial things and we shall concentrate on Change.

In my limited years on this planet, I have seen the word "change" used in many forms. It has been used to refer to small coins that can choke a puppy such as myself, to denote the act of transformation, or as a verb, to transform something. I have also seen it appended to the name "Jackie" on the television and on large, glossy posters on the streets. As a result of this varied usage, you are now looking at a very confused puppy.

Speaking of puppy, who came up with that word? "Puppy"? Why do balding, German men refer to their complicated measuring devices as "puppies"? I fail to see the similarity between a Spectrum Analyzer and a canine. Spectrum Analyzers do not have ears. They do not have noses. They do not urinate on trees. Why, then, are they referred to as "puppies"? Some human behaviour I will never understand. Scratch that - most human behaviour I will never understand.

But back to the topic of this speak, i.e., "Change". Yes, now where was I before I digressed?

"Change" can be of two types - "Loose Change" and "Unwelcome Change" but these are fuzzy distinctions. Sometimes, loose change can be unwelcome change. To illustrate this point, imagine yourself (or your owner, if you are a canine) going to a grocery store. Now, a delicious snack is chosen and its price has been read from the compulsory "MSRP" label. Assuming this MSRP number is odd, usually a slightly larger amount is given to the store owner. Now, in the case of ( unwelcome change = loose change ) the owner will hand back several coins of small denominations, leaving the purchaser no choice but to make faces and put it in his or her pocket / wallet / handbag / purse or pouch. At this point, the coins will jingle every time a movement is made, much to the annoyance of the mover. This is a good example of the fuzziness of change. Many more examples can be found from the India Change Fellowship; we have 1000s of books and audio lectures on this subject.

With this, I end tonight's speech.

I look forward to interacting with you all during the after-speech cocktail party.

Thank you, and Happy No-Pants Day.
Of course, if you are a canine, every day is No Pants Day!

Have a good Evening!

(- Puppy Manohar)

"Tomorrow we can drive around this town and let the cops chase us around" - Gin Blossoms