Pwnage Is In The Air

Dear Baby,

I am going to get right to the point today. I am not going to meander around the issue and hide under flowery metaphors.

I have been following the news and current events over the past few days, both domestic and international, and I’ve come to a conclusion. Our country is in desperate need of people who can inflict pwnage. We have been civilized for thousands of years but there has been no one Indian of whom the world talks in hushed whispers. Not one Indian elicits a reaction of fear and awe. I think this is a really sad state of affairs.

Allow me to present to you my solution:

Along the lines of the IITs and the IIMs, India needs to set up another set of institutions. Yes, you guessed it; they shall be called the Indian Institutes of Pwnage (henceforth abbreviated to IIP). Of course, the first Institute shall be set up in Pwndicherry. Others will be started across the length and breadth of the country. With Lord Pwnesh’s blessings, we will soon turn out top-quality Pwners, capable of pwning along with the best in the world.

Prospective Pwners will have to write the All-India Potential Pwner’s Exam (APPE) and only the truly talented will be taken in from this group. N00bs need not apply. These students will be taught by the finest Pwners from all over the world.

Courses will include (but are not limited to)

Formal Introduction to Pwnage

Contemporary Pwnage

Pwnage in Indian History

Pwnage in World History

Pwnage in Mythology

Pwnage in Sport

E-Pwnage

Now, Baby, we need to recruit top quality Professors. Do let me know if you have any particular candidates in mind. We will start by offering the PGDP (Post Graduate Diploma in Pwnage) and, once we get AICTE approval, slowly move on to offering 4 year Bachelor’s degrees.

Yours in Pwnage,

Puppy Manohar

“Is ‘Loosu Penne’ pasta with low moral fibre?” - Myself