Sunday, March 16, 2008

Words of wisdom from Babu Uncle


Dear Baby and Puppy

What's wrong with the youth of today? There are such great opportunities available to you that were unheard of during our state socialist days. I have a few very good ideas :

1) Patent on Water:
F!@#ing, H2O yaar! Good old water. Hasn't been patented. We can earn money for every single drop of water running down the throat of every human being. Imagine how rich you will become. Please don't talk about poor people and all that commie shit. They can have coke if they think water is too expensive. In India we get coke for less than a few cents (American, of course).

2) Patent on Blood:
It's flowing in each one of us for free. It's high time all these free loading bastiges pay for every single drop of blood they are stealing from the creator whose rightful intellectual property it is. That will be us (if we file a patent soon enough). I hear Monsanto is already thinking of it. We have to make haste.

3) Privatization of Rivers:
The whole problem with river mismanagement and ensuing flooding and calamity is these bloody people aren't civilized enough to manage rivers. During British days, how come we didn't have all this nonsense? Our people need a hunter on their backs. I say privatize rivers. Give it to privately pwned corporations who will ensure safe and sustainable manufacture of water at the source and subsequent disciplined, planned and scheduled delivery across land to the ocean. Only Private corporations can hire talented MBAs who have the required skill and know how in Transportation Logistics and Supply Chain Management. Nature(TM) is useless and corrupt. It's no good. Enough of mismanaged rivers and red tape Nature(TM). Time to privatize rivers.

regards,
Col.Mrs. Amarinder"One Shot" Thapa. aka Babu Nair
1 800 ONESHOT
For, all problems in the world can be solved in one shot.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just as an ULTIMATE LOL point:

http://www.monsanto.com/features/monsanto_executive.asp?WT.svl=1

check the part about India. Its fucking hilarious.

aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww


On that note: Heres a competition

Suggest innovative patents that will (like Monsanto's great products ex. BT Cotton) impact the livelihood of people.


- Baby V

Anonymous said...

To share another severe self-pwnage

http://www.bhu.ac.in/

"India is not a country of the Hindus only. It is a country of the Muslims, the Christians and the Parsees too. " - Dr. MM Malviya.

There is a lesson there for all of us.

-Br. (Brig.) Kamini Jain.
P.S: So basically Dr. KSA, Dr. Malviya was asking you to go farg yourself.

KP..Karan Patent said...

Forget the eons old patent idea of fusing a cellphone with a lighter. How about a flash drive with a flash to take snaps ( print screen ) shots to make it look much cooler than your average windows/mac/linux machine or softwares such as Gadwin or SnagIT.

How about patenting jobs in general:

Employer: Sir you are hired as the new Global Blog Analyst for our ISS ( International Survey Services ) team.

Me: You do understand, i am gonna be patenting this. So you will not be able to fire me until seven long years, not even if i wear your wife's thong tomorrow to office.

Sometimes people write songs in which the verses are repeated.
These are songs in "reverse". They should be patented and marketed specifically to attract more attention.

"Songs in reverse for 25 USD only. obviously lets reverse back to the time when the dollar was strong."

Treehouses!!!

A romantic dinner consisting of:
Papa John's Pizza
A 12 pack of carona / this could be alternated for
A packet of Marlboro red's / this could be alternated for
A real bad movie which you just pretend to watch..like any adam sandler movie/ you can even watch advertisements
music by bob dylan and other 70's stars

Skateboards with motors
"Why use a steering wheel when you can use your legs"

Gas pumps with a Jukebox.
"Pay a dollar more and you hear what you what while you fill gas!"

Puppy Manohar said...

So this is what you bastiges are doing whilst I dodge autorickshaws and cyclists.

Regards,

Puppy Manohar

Stone Guard said...

please stay tuned for an informational message from Karnail Singh Ahluwalia, PwD

Anonymous said...

how about:

"India is not a country of the Hindus only. It is a country of the Muslims, the Christians and the Parsees too. And don't forget, the Sikhs too." - Dr. MM Malviya. blogrolled by Dr. KSA

?
-Baby V
"its not fair..to deny me"- Alanis