Saturday, August 08, 2009

Eye Rack

Dear Baby V,

I have come up with a plan to solve the Iraq problem once and for all. What needs to be done in Iraq? Get the occupying forces out of there? Yes. Get lots of dollars in there? Yes. But the question is, how does one ensure that these dollars end up with the Common Iraqi (tm) and not some greedy bastige corporation like Halliburton (tm) or some other equally Evil Corporation (tm)? The answer is very simple - the WTO needs to grant a patent to the Iraqi People(s) for Writing (tm). You see, in ancient times, the peoples of Sumer developed this handy invention called writing, which became a huge hit around the world. It is argued that the Sumerian cuneiform spurred the development of Egyptian hieroglyphics, which in turn gave rise to the Phoenician alphabet, which is considered to be the proto-alphabet for most modern scripts (except Chinese, but don't get me started on those bastiges).

So ya, using the Modern, Civilized practice of issuing patents for ground-breaking, earth-shattering new developments I'm sure we can retroactively grant a patent on Writing (tm) to the Iraqi peoples. I know you may argue and say that the people living in modern-day Iraq are not the descendants of the Sumerians. This does not matter, because in the Modern World, Intellectual Property is something that can be bought and sold. I would argue that by occupying the land of the Sumerians, the modern-day Iraqis have also acquired their Intellectual Property.

Using this rational, civilized method, every time anything is written down, a modest fee is sent to the people of Iraq. This sends out a message that we value innovators, and recognize their right to profit off their ideas. Surely, such an important innovation as Writing (tm) deserves such recognition.


Puppy Manohar

PS: No PS actually. Really. KP GFY. That's all.


narendra shenoy said...

Suggested slogans for the Iraqi Peoples Cuneiform Licensing and Marketing Authority

"Get a Cuneiform on your Uniform"

"We INVENTED the Sumer of 69"

"Get high on heiroglyphs"

Chethana said...

welcome back puppy, with your time-space-fabric shattering wisdom.

witsnnuts said...

Excellent Idea Puppy !! .. lol