Thursday, February 11, 2010


A board outside the ill-managed sham of an Indian movie multiplex Naz 8 has the following friendly message on its gate in bold red letters "For obvious reasons, please do not bring in food, water, alcohol or cookies inside" ..No it isn't obvious at all.

The following are some OBVIOUSLY prohibitive and/or ludicrous things to take inside a film theatre:

1) your own Home Theatre, DVD player or TV.
2) electric guitar
3) 4 wheel vehicle
or even 2 wheel vehicle
(2 or 4 stroke engine)
4) a panda
5) a panda sitting on top of a 4 wheeled vehicle

Please comment with some other items that for OBVIOUS reasons should not be allowed in a Movie Theatre

Miyan ki Malhar

An "enemy combatant" at Gitmo refused to admit his guilt. So they subjected him to Indian Musical Maestro Bhimsen Joshi's "Raag Miyan Malhar" in which Bhimsen sings "Karim tero naam" (Karm is your name) over and over again for hours whilst imrovising on every note. The prisoner finally accepted that he was Karim, a key Taliban figure.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

He Job

I once asked a French girl out and she rejected just because I was wearing a burkha. What a fascist! Systematic discrimination against men wearing the hijab.

On Mumbai

Dear Baby V,

In light of several discussions that I have read on the internet in the recent past on the status of Mumbai (aka Bombay), I have proposed a simple solution. First, to those who know not to what I allude, a few links to statements made by some random people.

I propose, to put an end to the question of ownership of Mumbai, that it be evacuated of all human residents and be solely populated by canines. This is an effective solution because canines have no geographical constraints on their inter-canine relationships. A dog from Madurai is no more or less likely to mate with a dog from Ludhiana as compared to a dog from Jalandhar.

Also, an added bonus is that such commonly heard laments will come true:

Random uncle : Arre Bombay has really gone to the dogs

Jilted Lover : These females from Bombay are all bitches man.

Angsty Business Man: Man, it's really a dog's life in Mumbai.

The Beatles(™) of Bombay : It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog(™).


Puppy Manohar

PS: If links are broken, blame KP

PPS: Don't steal my identity, Baby V.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Jack of all trades

An uncle once asked me rhetorically, "Beta, what's the point of playing ten different instruments if you haven't mastered one?" "Yes, like you have mastered the only one instrument you can play - your mouth"