When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed , in his bed, to his bed, proving that a parable where a bed is an anthropomorphic character essentially has to avoid references to the characters indulging in the human activity of sleep and - worse - sexual intercourse, for it will be weird and perhaps more Kafkaesque than Kafka.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed to a lazy bum who had woken up late and would have to call up work and call in "sick" like a lying fool (ah dhang you).
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a mechanical apparatus with the ability to change from a humanoid appearance to a big truck. Sadly (for him), Megan Fox was not in bed with him.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to the poorly conceived teenage wizard character - Harry Potter, that it was 21st century Europe and his story - at best rubbish and at worst rabidly reactionary - constitutes 'literature' in this day and age. "Surely," he said to himself, "these are the last days of Western Civilization" and he went back to sleep.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he started up his laptop and navigated to http://puppymanohar.blogspot.com/, which is what you should do too to calm your central nervous system.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he thought it would serve as an excellent opening line for a story, and began to write it down.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to a person who cared more about waking up than transforming, so he got out of bed and proceeded to brush his teeth.
When Gregor Samsa awoke it was night and he realized it was KP writing this missing the point entirely. But whats the point? I ask you, O reader.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to a bedsheet. But aaah, what's this? Gregor Samsa wasn't in his bed last night, because he spent the night at an attractive lady's house. The writer seems to be very confused.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed to a CC TV Camera focused at the table in the corner of the room and said to himself, "Ah how the tables have turned"
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed to a sheet of aluminium (aluminum for Americans) and he said to himself "Curses, foiled again!" (ah dhang you)
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to a vermin. Now he is a TED speaker who is scheduled to give a rubbish inspirational sounding - but really patronizing - speech about his metamorphosis and the video is shared on the internet under the title "Every Indian must watch"
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to Tom Friedman. "Ah what a vermin I have become" he exclaimed to himself as he jumped to his death from his Manhattan high-rise apartment. An unrelated observer recorded this on his cellphone camera and uploaded it to youtube with the title "Every Indian Must Watch This!!!!!111[sic]"
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to the Moon on a Stick, and Xida was finally happy, for thats what he wanted. He wanted the Moon on a Stick!
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to 'Cake Aur Samosa' and they all laughed because silly puns and mockery of other cultures and people is what constitutes humor in the subcontinent.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed to the frequency domain, and that's how he lived the rest of his live, as a little pulse at 456 Hz, with only his harmonics as company.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to Ross, Monica, Phoebe and Chandler, characters of the mega popular American sitcom "Friends". The audience was shocked and discombobulated at the odd but contemplative and seemingly poignant turn the otherwise frivolous and tactless comic vehicle had taken. There was an uneasy silence in the audience. The 3-minute deadline for canned manic laughter from the audience had passed. It seemed like "Friends" was subverting established form.....and then Joey entered the room dressed as a 20th century middle class Jewish Czech German speaking girl and said "Wie geht es dir?", the subtitles went "How ya doin" and the audience was hysterical. It was the best FRIENDS episode ever.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself being inappropriately touched by an entomologist on National television.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself on Bugzilla with the label "REOPENED" stamped on his forehead in red.
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself watched in suspended animation at a break point waiting for an F8.
Regards,
BV and PM.
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4 comments:
When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in to Tom Friedman. "Ah what a vermin I have become" he exclaimed to himself as he jumped to his death from his Manhattan high-rise apartment. An unrelated observer recorded this on his cellphone camera and uploaded it to youtube with the title "Thomas Friedman is Flat" ?
hilarious.the post as well as plant dood
@Same Rain, Different Plant:
We wish to make a correction -
Thomas Friedman actually lives in an obscenely huge estate not in a high-rise apartment.
Yes he lives IN an estate not ON it.
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