Friday, February 23, 2007

A Job Application

The following is a job application I sent to:
open position.

The craigslist ad for the same position.

Dear Madam,

This is regarding your post on craigslist for a "Programming Editor".
I would like to apply for this position, of "Programming Editor", as I
feel it fits my skill set and my experience.

I have had extensive professional experience in program editing and am
a critically acclaimed, versatile and popular tool for editing code
and scripts across various programming environments. Though I am a
trained, advanced word processor per se, over the years I have
developed a huge fan following, consisting of experienced professional
programmers hailing from the entire spectrum of the coding community,
viz. PERL, Java, C, C++, HTML (yes, I consider them programmers too)
etc. I am an equal opportunity editor and can be used for
exceptionally beautiful but now dormant technologies like Smalltalk
and Pascal. I have little experience for interpreter based languages
like LISP and BASIC, however I have hands on experience of line by
line copy paste.

I am Windows compatible and support UTF 8 and Unicode. I am motivated,
fast and sincere. My programmer-friendly look and feel coupled with
"compile on command line" attitude makes me a go-getter and a team
player. If given the opportunity I will certainly add value to your
company and prove once and for all how we editors are much faster and
efficient than those IDEs, "Integrated Development Environments" that
are in vogue.

Please find my resume attached here with.

Editplus . Exe (Mrs).
"This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut
down"- Windows.


Avi said...

Nice!! But i think the joke would be lost on them

Kappa said...

Dear Mrs. Editplus . Exe,

This is Mr. P.K. Laylay, Human Resources from Quixtar X, sister company to the great Qixstar Inc. This is in response to the job posting we put up on the internet.

It is pretty evident that I am a full grown man with an 8 inch surprise (Yeah!!!), so the next time you will address me as "Sir"!

With respect to you resume, it looks great but we need to see a cover letter as well. That was careless of you not send it in.
Unfortunately due to bad management of the organization, and extremely low budget, we only have Windows 95 machines at this time. Also you seem to be overqualified for this job. However since we really do need a Program Editor at this time, we are willing to set you up for a technical interview with our Senior Program editor, Vajaina Fornicata.
All I need is to confirm your ability to work for $5.00/hour and I need to verify your work status in the U.S.

I will set up an interview date as soon as I get a response from your end. You can also pass this job to a friend in case of disinterest. However, no Electrical Engineering and Engineering Managent Students. We are a big company with 51 branches with a branch in each state and 1 branch in the District of Columbia but unfortunately we have nothing for them.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Warm Regards,
P.K. Laylay
Human Resources
Quixtar X

"Windows 95 sucks" - Weird Al

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar said...


You can find me free for,


Anonymous said...

Hi.nice blog.I am fresh jobseeker.please help me that where can i get
links of free job posts sites.
Thank you.....