Tuesday, February 05, 2008

KPTal Letters

To whom it may concern,

Please revel in the glory of El KPtan (alias KP). These are his last 15 gtalk status messages.


Baby V and Puppy M

"Ya dood that's what" - El KPtan alias KP

Vu is a common chinese last name and if i was a Vu, i

would name my son Deja and when he would introduce

himself to people, they would say that they have met him before.

Enesis: The end of the beginning

I never asked if i was invited

I just said that i am not leaving here without you

My belt is loose and so are my pants.

What more do you want out of me?

I am going for a drive to Hell. Here are my car keys.

You can drive. I am going to sleep in the backseat

No matter how many boyfriends she has had, she will always

be my ex girlfriend. Ex girlfriends are forever.

Diamonds eventually rust.

I dont like falling "back to square 1".There are so many

other shapes to choose from. I'd like to fall in a trapezium. At

least it looks like a house. I'll install a bed in a

shape of 2 parabolas which are joined by their open ends, ellipsoidal

pillows, a rhombus shaped bath tub, a rectangular fish pond,

and hexagonal windows. On my birthday,

i will light candles randomly generated by the game Tetris.

My ex girlfriend has a new boy friend now. On his

birthday i bought him a gas pump and i installed an

ipod in the gas pump. The machine is called iGAS. She

broke up with him as soon she saw it.

Whenever i enter Starbucks and i see all the different kind of

coffees like Cappuchino, Mochachino, Frappachino, i like to say

to the coffee "Just be yourself dude!Why do you have to

behave like that?"

There is a 80 % chance that i will spill my coffee during an

ongoing meeting and hence as a result a 20 % chance

that i would doze off. Actually the dozing off part

happens all the time.

My friend Nick feels bad that his "nick"name and his

real names are one and the same. So i gave him one :"Dick"

People think i am an apathetic person. I just tell them

"Well since you are not, you're pathetic

Your ex girlfriend facebooked me last night…from my place.

You guess the rest.

An apple a day , keeps a window away

My dad's name is Rashmi and my mum's name is Raju

and we all live in a "building" called Patel "Bungalow".

Its a 3 storeyed building. We stay on the 1st floor.

The guys staying on the ground floor are Thakkars.


Colonel Mustard said...

i say, a number of these quotes would make absolutely smashing t-shirts!

-Col. Mustard

ps - in the conservatory, with the candlestick

Siddharth Adelkar said...

Dear Colenel Mustard

You have no clue, how happy you have made that bastige.

P.S: Will you buy?

Kappa said...

alas the population of words has suddenly seen a great decline as many an infant word has died before even being born. Such has been the effect on me.

"Asking a writer to document a company's business scenario is like asking a cat to fuck a dog"

"She asked me what i was daydreaming about and i said Friday"

"One does feel good when one feels good
One can also feel good when one feels bad
One may feel bad when one feel good
One can always feel bad when one feels bad.

Damn! i have run out of all permutation and combinations here!"

Kappa said...

Colonel Mustard,

a thousand thank you's and a 10000

Yr friend Colonel Ketchup is relaxing in my tri level bottle. Brigadier Pepper and Major Sausage are on their way. As soon as you come we shall have some lunch.

Best Regards,
Captain Salt

"we were meant to live for so much more" - Switchfoot