Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Mental, Perhaps?

Dear Puppy Manohar and Baby V,

I feel there has to be an elaborate caste system or some type of hierarchy in all alphabets. English (roman?) alphabet is superior to all alphabets. It is discerning. It differentiates upper class alphabet from the inferior lower class. If script is egalitarian then thoughts will be egalitarian. And who has egalitarian thoughts? Correct, commie bastiges, terrorist islamists and dalit panthers.

But I propose that a 2 class system for alphabet is insufficient. We need to have an extensive caste system. For ex., the actual content which has the information in an expression should be all lower case. It's unimportant. Language wouldn't have existed if we needed simple expressions like, "Baby, get me water" (No, seriously. Baby, you are old enough. Do some work. Get me water) Most of the time all we have to say can be described in 2-3 words. Language was, one day long forgotten in the past, invented by wise sages so that simple, elementary expressions of man can be surrounded with a whole lot of absolutely redundant rubbish.

Hence the meaning, which is as I explained above, secondary, should be the lower case. The middle case should be for words to the effect of "you know..", "I mean..", "sort of", "like" which are like business classes of words. They strike deals between ideas. They compare, unite, "bring to the table", negotiate with 2 otherwise orthogonal ideas. This class should not be confused with words which have figures of speech.

Slightly higher up in the ladder comes the case for silent letters, accents or other such gay stuff. Such manifestations of the terpsichorean muse add charm to a sentence. It adds culture to it. These are important words. They have no meaning and no place in the sentence but they are important to keep the reader interested.

The higher warrior caste of course is the equivalent of the English uppercase. The nobility should be given a very high status. They might seem unimportant and utterly useless to the naive. They are important for the higher good. We all know what the basic tendency of letters is. They will all try to start the sentence or start a proper name. God forbid, the lowest class, that of content ever tries to presume any name or even militates to start a sentence. That would be anarchy. Readers would be confused. That would take mankind back to the Stone Age. Kill. Eat. Drink. That's it.

Then comes the highest of all, priestly class: the clergy of letters. These should be for the first letters of words like "hence", "and there fore", "of course". Anything with logic in it. Which other class can boast of such logical prowess as the priestly class? They are the intellectuals. They would serve the warrior caste of words and the merchants. They determine the meaning of an expression and they decide where the meaning will go.

Your daddy.
Yes I stole your intellectual property right.
Who's the daddy now?


"I carry the torch that trembles the mountain" - Shadow Gallery

6 comments:

km said...

ee cummings would have been heart-broken. Good thing he is dead.

Actually, transitive verbs need their own special symbols. Intransitive verbs - DIE!

Anonymous said...

Dear KM

For his heterdoxy and herecy, EE Cumming, clearly had it coming. (ah dhang you)

Baby V.

Stalker Subramani said...

Read this in transitive to my bleh work day.

PS: Thanking you kindly for stony silence in response to copious fan comments in previous posts. Needless to say, I shall press on.

fungal sutra said...

Then comes the highest of all, priestly class: the clergy of letters. These should be for the first letters of words like "hence", "and there fore", "of course". Anything with logic in it. Which other class can boast of such logical prowess as the priestly class. They are the intellectuals. They would serve the warrior caste of words and the merchants. They determine the meaning of an expression and they decide where the meaning will go.

who's the daddy now?

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar said...

Dear Mr. Subramani,

Thank you for your concern. Your satisfaction is important to us. However, due to massive reorganization in our company, our Customer Service department is currently non-functional. Please stand by as we attempt to rectify this problem.

Thank you,

R. K. Thamizhchelvan

Former Customer Service In-charge,
Baby Vaijayanti / Puppy Manohar Enterprises

"I will give my parents, teachers and all elders respect and treat everyone with courtesy"

Donald duck only wore a blue suit, nothing below said...

I was Stalking Fungus when i decided to ask many a simple or yr average smooth talking elegant business breath white collar asshole or yr average hip hop / rockstar/ friends or southpark exposed neonazi/ antigun pessimist/ social activist/ masochist this question
:

How many languages do you know.

The answer ranges from 1- 3.
and yes i hate to say this but the authors are right. English it is, the common one.

Hail to your language king, Sir English the First. Draw the swords, bring the women, embrace the lord, kill the peasa.... uhmmm ugghh.
Kill the peacock and bring its feathers to heal the dying nation.

Hey you there,
yes you .. you who cant speak english
Bring me water

However there was 1 thing that went unnoticed. every he/she/he-she that i surveyyed made an incredibly serious attempt at bluffing about the fact that they knew slangs in a different language.

SLANG! boys n girls. slangs is what completes the language.

Languages were written in order to have an organized way of communication.
Slangs were written and mainly spoken because of our deep need to complain

So i conclude this by making amends to this post by reclassifying the "Highest of all, priestly class" to the SLANG class

p.SEE Fungal Sutra.. Cntrl C and Cntrl V is Classless

Baby Piece ( ah dhang you ) and Dawg Manohaa, would you be able to answer this question:

( P.see I am not a fan. I am more like vaccum )

Do only individual words have a class or are even particular sentences or groups have classes / subclasses?

If so..
When people start off a sentence in such a way "Needless to say, "
and yet for all the wrong reasons continue to say so, what class / subclass would it belong to?

Isnt it like apologising before making a mistake.

and pullleze save me the psycho babble bullcrap of your ever amusing excuses on not responding to me because "It doesnt matter what u think"

"There is blood in my alphabet soup"- Marcy Playground

Charlotte Lewis
New Slang Coordinator
Sam's Wigs, Jersey Village