Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Stupidity: An Intellectual Property



Dear Puppy Manohar and respected members of the Canine Congress (ah dhang you),

Additionally, a joint research project of the WIPO and the United Nations University measuring the impact of IP systems on six Asian countries and (sic) found that "a positive correlation between the strengthening of the IP system and subsequent economic growth."
You might wonder why we are talking about Intellectual Property? Who cares? "Why are we talking about Intellectual Property? Who cares?", you would say. You might also ask why I put the adverb 'additionally' in the beginning. It is grammatically incorrect too, isn't it? Well, the answer to the last two questions is that I copy-pasted it from Wikipedia which had that term and I forgot to remove it.

Economic growth. Economic growth, my friends. The motivation behind all collective human effort. The reason why we have fine creations like the photo copier, the vanity plates and the Indian Railways. The ultimate reason why we all live. What would we be if it weren't for economic growth, so fuzzy, so ambiguous and yet so concrete and meaningful. Both at the same time. "Uncertainty Principle" as Heizenberg might call it or "Acintya Bheda bheda, Tatva" as Kula Shekar hypothesize.

"What is economic growth?", a reckless, naive youngster might ask. Economic growth is not a truck you just dump something on. You can not hold economic growth in your hands; you can not define it. It's like a fragrance. You can't explain it but you can feel it. You can only experience economic growth. I digress. (Hope that clarifies your doubt, Brother)

We are all unique. We were made that way. Hence, our thoughts are unique. Our ideas are unique. If you believe that you were meant to have the cake that you are eating, then you will agree with me that you were meant to have the ideas that you have. You truly own them. We all own our ideas. They are our intellectual property.

Human beings are born in sin, the ancestors of our Christian brothers proclaimed. They were right. Always remember, there is always a scientific reason behind the words of our ancestors. When we are born, we are born with a few ideas in our heads. Whose ideas are those? They are sure as hell not ours. They were invented by some human, whom we shall refer to as Mr. Muththu for better understanding. Effectively, we are stealing the ideas from him, from Muththu. Muththu, for the first time, thought of these things. And we don't even pay our tribute to him (or her).

Noam Chomsky, the father of modern linguistics who discovered language in the 1950s, theorizes that we are all born with an inborn mechanism to learn language. Well, do we own it? Of course not. Muththu owns it. Muththu invented language for the first time. And baby, he is angry. He is very angry. Nobody steals from Muththu.

Stupidity. We all do stupid things all the time. Some more than the others. We all have an innate capacity to commit stupidry. Some of us are gifted with marvelous skills in stupidry. Some others have to try hard. It's a wonder what the human animal can achieve if he doesn't put his mind to it. Who owns stupidity? Is stupidity commonly owned by all of humanity? I know, the mere mention of that takes us back to the Cold War. We know how that story ends.

Stupidity has to be owned by some one person or an organization with individual rights. The most obvious choice would be the inventor of Stupidity. Who invented stupidity? Muththu. Perhaps not the same Muththu who invented language. Perhaps someone else. Perhaps not Mutthu S. Perhaps, K Muththu. Perhaps not. But unfortunately, Muththu is not with us today. He is in Heaven (TM). The obvious logical step would be, well, Muththu's descendants should own stupidity. Like all property, this one should also be passed on to the next generation. So, who are Muththu's true descendants?

From the name, it's obvious that Muththu's descendants have to be the inhabitants of the Southernmost region of the Indian peninsula. The Thamizhans. Which other people can boast of being more stupid than the Thamizhans? Racist claim? Perhaps. Accurate? Certainly not. We have the xenophobic Maharashtrians, the belligerent Punjabis, the impulsive Bengalis, the warmongering Pashtuns, the isolationist Americans, the hypothetical Aryans, the conniving Chinese, the chosen Jews, the hunting and gathering Intuits, the extinct Easter Islanders, the confused Macaulayite Indians. We all can claim descent from Muththu. We all are equally stupid.

So how do we, in fact, find who owns stupidity.? This will be the major question of the 21st century. The fate of mankind depends on this question.

regards,
Baby V.
"Its the economy, Stupid"- Bill Clinton (TM)
P.S: farging laundry.

22 comments:

narendra shenoy said...

Who owns stupidity? Fascinating question! It is inextricably linked to the equally fascinating question of Intellectual Property, as you have wisely pointed out. Take Windows Vista Tee Yemm, for instance. Can you protect it under current intellectual property laws? No! And why not? Because it is not the work of intelligent beings!

Stupidity HAS to be included under IP laws. We will call for a three day bandh in Kolkata till the US Congress passes the law.

Let's shout a zindabad or two for the old inquilab

maami said...

'Personally I have great admiration for stupidity'-Oscar Wilde.

Chinu-fish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Chinu-fish

Good review. But from the next time please also
a) give less marks
b) give us a speech on how children can get better marks. prefferably comparing with written papers of ex merit listers.

Baby V.

Chinu-fish said...

This is Chinu Fish's review:

Rating: 4/5

The author starts off the blog in a very unusual, yet witty fashion to lead us into the questions of Stupidity: Intellectual Property (IP). Most of the unflinchingly wavering readers will find the second & third paragraphs a refreshing treat during these times, when websites has nothing else to report but other people's personal lives, whore, gore etc. Something like the wake-up call at the ending of third paragraph is much needed in today's blogs.

What follows next is a beautifully crafted explanation of idea-ownership, i.e. IP. The blog then delves into the speculative, yet philosopical prediction of the birth of inherent abilities and inherent stupidity. What follows next is an entertainingly racist jab without any specific/random accuracy of certainty of occurence of the traits of various races with a slight digression and this is substantiated by a compensating & relevant question at the end.

If you like change and creative styled writing, then this article might be the one not to miss out.

Yours Truly--Chinu

Sexually attracted to Nazis said...

"Its a wonder what the human animal can achieve if he doesn't put his mind to it."

"the chosen Jews"

Yes my dear authors, its a FUCKING wonder

99,00,000,000 sq.ft. of IP said...

oh but the laws of IP are different.

For the benefits of economic growths, there is trade involved in IP as well. Moreover or should i say "additionally", there is a specific Patent Time Period Validity which varies as per the economic value of the product or just the basic idea or in this case "Stupidity".

While stupidity has great economic value when it comes to MTV and Jackass and my blog, this blog, South park and so on and so forth, this product would not survive in industries such as the Religion Industry..yes folks its just a money making business.

"There is a little spark of madness in everyone and in me there is a fire" - KP

I, KP owns stupidity abd it is your stupid"u"ty to respect my belongings and not to venture into mmahh property. I rest my case.

"They toook our jaaaabs"

Anonymous said...

KP

You farging moron. Stop doing that. You don't even know that guy.

concerned LA resident.

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar said...

Dear KP(ri),

You are being an (sic) Farging Moron. When you use someone's real name on the comment space, 4 names are pointing back at you. Also, google finds their name. I can't believe I have to explain this to you again.

Regards,

Puppy Manohar.

"There can be no turning back" - Anon

Pri said...

this chinnu fish is still in existence after breaking my disco's hort??

Chinu-fish said...

It's Chinu, not Chinnu. And it's Heart, not Hort which he never broke. Chinu ensures not to break two things in life: Heart and his Word (just like Al Pacino of Scarface, who has only two things in his life: his balls and his word).

And yes, Chinu-fish is in existence. In fact he is omni-existent.

"Be kind to strangers" -- Leviticus, Verse 19:33-34

Bikerdude said...

Are you chwyneeeeeeese?
If so, explain with reference to contacts. In the meantime I P and come. (too much beer)

Ah dhang you.

PS: You're mad boss, I love your blog. Stalk stalk stalk.

Space Bar said...

"What is stupidity?" asked jesting Vaijayanti and would not stay for an answer (for answer there was none).

And that's enough mixing up of Great Texts™ by Philistines and Wanderers in Wonderland.

Puppy Manohar said...

Dear Biker-Anna,

Yes we are Chinese. Allow me to prove.

Baby V and I are very sweet people, as is shown by the reactions of female members of the human species upon meeting us. "Choo chweet!!" ---> (1)

Sugar is sweet ----> (2)

From (1) and (2) we get that Baby V and I are chini. Hence Chinese. Hence proved.

(many tick marks and V good from teacher).

Regards,

Master Binoy Varghese
Intern,
Communications Dept.
BV / PM Enterprises.

"Teacher see this boy teacher!"

Disturbingly Bored said...

it only depends in what context this "sugar" is bieng talked about.

Throughout ancient history, sugar has been capitalized by renowned poets, musicians, authors and pornstars to be cultivated into different forms of slang.

Now, sometimes sugar and salt is referred to as step cousins.

as in

Love = sugar

and

Lust = Salt.

Disturbingly Bored said...

it only depends in what context this "sugar" is bieng talked about.

Throughout ancient history, sugar has been capitalized by renowned poets, musicians, authors and pornstars to be cultivated into different forms of slang.

Now, sometimes sugar and salt is referred to as step cousins.

as in

Love = sugar

and

Lust = Salt.

Disturbingly Bored said...

it only depends in what context this "sugar" is bieng talked about.

Throughout ancient history, sugar has been capitalized by renowned poets, musicians, authors and pornstars to be cultivated into different forms of slang.

Now, sometimes sugar and salt is referred to as step cousins.

as in

Love = sugar

and

Lust = Salt.

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar said...

Wait.

How did Br. space bar achieve the "TM" is that awesome small s00perscript?

Puppy? How!

TM is the only true super script.

regards
Baby V.
"Teacher he bate me" - a student.

Space Bar said...

That's Sr. Space Bar.

"Teacher, teacher, she's copying!"

That's How(l).

Pri said...

what is fascinating is this drawing you just put up. im sure it means something brilliant but i cant figure out what it is. so far i have -
a) giant key coming out of the ass of an elephant
b) an aids symbol which if it is dude i dont know if it's politically correct to make fun of.
c)an r and an e for retard.

p.s. why do these drawings appear magically some fifteen days after the post has been published?

also chinu fish can suck it. disco's into sea turtles now. the kind birla is trying to kill.

word verification - wskrg. yeah i could do with one of those right now.

Anonymous said...

KPri

These drawings don't mean anything. Ignore them.

Baby V.

Stupidosaur said...

Ah chini-fish? That reminds me
http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/2008/07/chini-kum-hai.html