When I Grow Up...

Dear All,

Baby and I overheard the neighbours having an argument loud discussion while on my daily walk. Below is a transcription:

I want to be sacred, just like the cow.
I know you do, beta, but why, and how?
Why? So people will worship me
And give me stuff and things for free.

But yet, others will kill you and eat your meat,
Or use your skin to wear on their feet.
Ah yes, that part I haven't figured out yet
But I'll come up with a solution, do you want to bet?

But how about people touching and worshipping you like noobs?
And other ape-like creatures pressing your boobs?
You will have to stand in your own faeces.
Hormones injected on a regular basis?

Ah, you're such a pessimist, dad.
I'm sure it's a blast - a lot of fun can be had.
If I get free food and sarees of silk,
What's the harm in giving a little milk?

But that's a very narrow-minded point of view.
Well, son, why be a cow you can be a man and do that too?
You can dress up like a girl and go on dates with boys;
A few years ago even I made that choice.

I like lipstick, sarees and incessant talk;
I like to feel insecure and listen to 80s soft rock.
I am an optimist, I'd look at my own species, rather.
Grow up beta! Be a woman! Like your father.

Gee,dad, you are such an inspiration.
I don't see any gap between our generation(s).
I'm going to go now, and heed your advice.
But first, it's time to make jeera rice.

After that, I'll start to transform
And begin to defy the societal norm.
After all, it's possible in the modern day
For a boy to dress as a girl, and not be gay.

Daddy dear, I see the light now -
I'd rather be a girl, and not a cow.
Why only girl? You can be a stapling machine, though it's tough.
You have to selflessly pin people's things up.

You have to work all day and stare all night,
And always open up (never sit tight).
But there will be an occasional moment of joy so forgotten,
When you'll promptly get to stick to some random chick's bottom.

Or you can be a sailor, a whaler or the captain's sword,
Or a midshipman, overboard.
Wow, dad, that's a lot of choice
But I think I'll be a strange girl who dates strange boys.
And then I'll say "No one understands me."
"Stop your bothering, let me be."

Yes, that's like my boy, now you are thinking,
You don't need me to stop your ship from sinking.
No probs homie, do whatever meets your end.
But, don't forget, I am not only your father - I am also your transgender friend.


(THE END)

Enough of this doggerel. Back to your regular programming.

Regards,

Puppy M and Baby V

"What about your daughter, do you give a damn?" - Mattias "IA" Ekhlund / Freak Kitchen