Saturday, November 04, 2006

Puppy Thoughts

Hello Baby,

I was planning to continue with the story with this letter, but I can't help thinking that your last letter was a little condescending. What were you trying to prove? Were you trying to impress your so-called intellectual superiority on me? Well, baby, puppy is not amused.

It's the end of the letter that I have issues with. How can you say something (I paraphrase) like "Your species is a burden to ours"? It's an attitude like that that irks me. Humans and dogs have coexisted peacefully for millenia and you've never, ever heard of the great Dog-Man war. Why, baby? Because humans never had reason to fight with dogs. Because, before humans had evolved to their position of planetary dominance, they understood that all living things had to coexist. And sometimes, alliances had to be formed, even with members of other species. Today's humans seem to have forgotten this, and dogs are now reduced to mere ornaments in houses. My ancestors served yours well, toiling hard for a scrap of meat or two at the end of the day. Compare this to our lot now, where we are tied up almost all day and are just there for your "guests" to gawk at when they visit you.

I don't understand why you criticize people with PhDs and medical degrees. I think if they spent so many years of their lives earning the right to put those letters after their names, they deserve to talk as they damn well please. I think people with PhDs represent the highest form of the human species and you will do well to learn from their discipline, baby V, if you want to go anywhere in life. Following in your father's footsteps will only make you exactly what he is - a frustrated middle-aged man who doesn't know what to do with himself most of the time. I don't think I will forget his efforts to make me wear those ghastly dog trousers. Seriously, which self-respecting puppy would want to walk out like that? Bruno the great dane next door would probably die guffawing (which may not necessarily be a bad thing) and I can picture the look on Faizal the Cat's face as well. Oh the shame. But enough about me; this was supposed to be about you.

Seriously, Baby V, all this talk about hardwiring and fixed neural pathways is nonsense. You can be whatever you want to be in this modern age. There are so many avenues that are now open for young women such as yourself. If you think you are going to be a burned-out 25 year old, nothing can help you. It all starts with a positive attitude and an open mind.

Now go do something with your life,

Your pet,

Puppy Manohar

PS: I've been getting too involved with my Dog-ma, so please excuse.

"A aa aaaaaaaa aaah!" - Robert Plant

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