Another Eulogy, To Another Beast

Dearest KP alias El Kptan,

Happy (belated) Birthday!

This one's for you:

Only a KP can KP be,
For if he were not, he wouldn't be KP.
So let KP be KP, and KP he shall be.
And KP will live by his own rules, naturally.

If KP weren't KP, who would he be?
Not KP cannot be KP. For it is not KP to be Not KP.
There is only one KP, and KP is he.
And only one can there be, thankfully

He prevails over evil and fights for good.
He ensures peace in the neighbourhood.
If you're lost in a forest he'll gather the wood
And share his wisdom, as a good KP should.

If it weren't for KP, Not KP would be. We don't want Not KP, do we?

Once KP became Not KP. We were left without a KP.
Not KP prevailed for thousands and thousands of years
Until KP replaced Not KP. And there was KP everywhere.
We shouted "KP" and sang to KP's glory.
Which brings me to the real question -
What was before KP?
What is KP made of?
Whenst was KP?
Wherest is KP?
Why is KP?
And how is KP?
No seriously, where the f!@#! is KP?
And how the f@#$@ is KP?
What will be after KP?
Perhaps we weren't meant to know.

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.


Is KP relative to the frame of reference?
Is KP subjective?
Is KP inside or outside the box?
Would KP pop out of the box "suddenly, unexpectedly" (courtesy TAAQ)
And say, "It's KP!"?
Then we will know that KP was in the box,
And now KP is out.
Is KP made of Papier Mâché ?
Is KP made of anything at all? Or is KP just devoid of anything?
Does KP have his own pronoun?
Is "kp" KP's pronoun?
I, we, you, he, she, it, they and kp.

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.

How fast is KP?
Is KP faster than light?
Can KP think faster than a computer?
Does KP think?
Does KP have to think?
Is thought and mental effort relevant to KP?
Does KP have the wisdom of Chacha Choudhary and the strength of Sabu?
Do human mental faculties have corresponding analogues to KP?

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.

Is KP?
Are KP?
Will KP?
Does KP?
Won't KP?
Shall KP?
Does KP kp?
Will you KP?
Did you KP today?
I am KP. Are you?
We are all KP.
KP is one.
...and yet KP is many.
Is KP unity in diversity?

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.

If KP is added to KP do we get KP?
Is KP transitive?
Anything with KP is KP with anything.
Nothing without KP is KP without nothing.
KP is selectively commutative.
Is KP + H2 -> KPtalic Acid ?
Is KP fat free?
Is KP tax exempt?
Is KP a national holiday?
How many KPs does it take to KP?
Is KP a renewable resource?
Does KP and the control thereof translate to power?
Is KP exothermic or endothermic?

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.

How do you measure KP? Can kp be measured?
Is KP flat or round or ellipsoid?
Do the heavens revolve around KP?
Or does KP move like everything else?
Is the 2nd derivative of KP with respect to time, kp ?
How many dimensions does KP have?
Integral of KP dt = ? + KP?
Is KP an imaginary number?
Does time stand still when KP orders it to?
Is KP odorless?
How many states does KP exist in naturally?
Does matter exist in the KP state?

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.

What is the capital of KP?
Who governs KP?
Does KP govern KP?
Is KP democratically elected?
Is KP anarcho syndicalistic?
Is KP a supporter of The People?

Only KP knows. Or perhaps KP knows not.


With best wishes,

Baby Vaijayanti and Puppy Manohar

"Gimme the beat, boys and free my soul" - M. Williams

[note from Puppy M: Saarang at IIT-M occurs around the last week of Jan. May I suggest this as a piece for the elocution competition?]